Sunday Morning

My post from Friday was basically right Master informed me last night. Minus a few things.

"Don't you think you would have felt leather on your butt rose?"

"Ahh hmm well I did figure I would have Master but I know you NEVER do anything like that immediately and I imagined it would have come later".

I was correct in that assumption but He did inform me that I most definitely would have experienced it after Tuesday nights performance and it would not have been an experience I enjoyed.

He reiterated He was fuming after Tuesday. When I said "how much? Slamming doors fuming" He replied yes. "Absolutely FUMING". In fact He was so mad with me I didn't actually hear from Him until yesterday afternoon when He got back from London. He simply ignored ALL my texts and did not call me.

Last night He told me He had been too lenient with me. He told me I had gotten away with way too much. Then He told me to hold out my tits to Him on the cam. Which of course I did. I pulled up my top and offered Him my "tits". He refers to them as "tits" I refer to them as "breasts" I find it difficult to say "tits". I don't think I have ever told Him that before, but I do. I find it embarrassing.

Because I lost another half kilo the week just gone we met online and I was privileged to be able to speak with Him. Had I not lost the half kilo I would not have spoken with Him at all this weekend.

Anyway after a period of time where He just looked at my breasts He told me to go and get a glass of wine and come back with no top on. Does He realise how much I panicked when He said that? I doubt not. I went and I tried to compose myself in the kitchen. I am almost never naked when we are in front of the cam. I wondered why He asked me to do that. I was nervous. Extremely conscious.

I walked back into the room with a top on that I could easily slip off, it was cold. I sat down and slipped it off immediately. I had no option whatsoever than to do as He wished. I sat there and we chatted a bit more. He said nothing about my nakedness. I could see myself in the cam. I could see what He could see. I never said I felt self conscious but I did. I wondered whether He asked me to do that so He could tell if I was losing weight. I think it was a combination of things. I think He pretty well knows I would feel self conscious and He wished to humiliate me just a little and I also think He did have me do that so He could possibly compare me naked now as opposed to what He last saw in the flesh and to compare in a few weeks time when I have to loose more weight. He made no comment and sent me to bed to call Him.

It reminded me of the time He sent me to stand in front of the mirror naked for 15 minutes and "look at how fat you are.." that was years and years ago and although He made no mention of anything at all last night, it served as a reminder to myself that I HAVE to keep loosing weight because if I dont, He may make me do it again and say something I may not like, or worse... but I aint sayin' nothin' more on thattTTTtt.

****

I laid in bed naked and called Him. After a period of conversation I was allowed to suck His shaft and then He made me open my legs while He slapped himself against my openness, over and over and over before pushing it inside and using me. After a long while of fucking He pulled from me and flipped me over, pushing my chin into the mattress and forcing my legs open wider as He stood behind and made me reach around and fuck myself with the vibrator.

"HARDER, do you want me to take it from you?"

Its hard to fuck yourself with a vibe in that position but I grunted and fucked wildly back on it while He watched and taunted me.

"Greedy slut, look at that cunt taking it so easily, stretching your fuckhole, MY hole, look how wet you are, do it harder you dirty little slut"

"You do it pleaseeee Master...." the words came out of my mouth before I realised what I said... ohhh shit I thought.

"NO YOU DO IT YOUR DIRTY GIRL"

He growled at me and pulled open my buttocks, exposing my smallest hole to His view as I lifted myself onto my elbows and continued with the vibe.

"I am going to fuck your little hole"

He pulled me apart wider and pushed, His great big shaft against such a tiny opening. A tiny opening that I am very embarrassed to say opens easily for my Master. He pushed in. He was not rough, but He was not gentle, He was going to fuck me that way regardless of whether it hurt me or not. It did not hurt me, as I said I open easily for him, but it does cause a great deal of pressure, particularly when I had to fuck myself with the vibe in my cunt.

He was in and He pulled my hips back onto Him, gripped my hair almost using it as reins and fucked me, fucked me so hard His shaft sunk deep into that velvet tunnel.

We both climaxed and fell in a heap on the bed.

"I didn't tell you to stop fucking yourself..." He said as I stopped collapsing under Him.

I restarted feeling my little swollen clit so sensitive. He only made me keep going for about another minute then He allowed me to stop.

It was some time after that that I begged to suck His shaft again. Now as I was sucking it He made comment "Do you make a habit of sucking shaft after its been in your ass rose?" Fortunately I do not, but the wonders of phone sex make that quite easily overcome! He chuckled into the phone..."You forgot about that did you!" (See we can also joke whilst having sex!) I continued and made Him hard again and He pushed me down and told me to wrap my legs around Him. We made love, well we fucked lovingly (there is a difference) He told me He loved me, I told Him I loved Him, He made me take Him deeper, He told me how wet I was, I started to feel all the emotion well up in side of me and we climaxed again.

My Master was on fire last night. As I dissolved into tears in His arms, as He tried to talk to me and I tried to answer, He pushed me back down on His shaft and made me suck through my rapsy breathing and tears.......and that blog post was written ten minutes after and titled "10 minutes ago" which is below this one.

****

We had to hang up the phone. He told me to go and clean myself up and get something to eat. S & D were due home and I would be allowed to call Him again in around 30 minutes time.

I wrote the post under this one full of love for Him and feeling so close.

****

Later I called Him again and we spoke for an hour. I wanted more and He told me I was greedy. He said "See that is your problem rose you are never satisfied, always so greedy for more, always getting what you want, I have been far too lenient on you, wait for tomorrow for shaft."

"But Master I will have my period tomorrow."

"You always say that rose, you will just have to wait.... look rose there I am giving in to you, what does it matter if you have your period eh? What actually does it matter you can still suck shaft with it cant you? See what I mean rose you are far too greedy and are not thinking of me, I can use your mouth, it is of no consequence to me whether you have your period or not, its not about you rose."

He was right of course. It is of no consequence to Him and I need to think that way. I was being greedy thinking of my own cunt, trying to tell Him that He should fuck me again now in case I miss out due to my period, what a naughty slave right?

He is also correct when He says He has been too lenient, I have pushed Him way too far the last few weeks in many ways. I came very very close to being disastrously punished last week. I had visions of Him taking away my collar for a period of time, I had real visions of that. I was frightened of the outcome. In actual fact now that the week is over His punishment of no contact was light (on reflection, although I hated it at the time) it could have been far worse. He could have beat me with that awful god dam birch and taken my collar and made me serve others for a period of time. That would have been worse. He has only taken my collar once and that was when it broken and when I took too long to get it fixed, when it was fixed he did not allow me to wear it for i think nearly a month. When I do not have my collar on he does not necessarily see me as His slave. It acts as a connection, Master and slave, when it is off He can act (almost) as if He does not care for me. I am fearful of that. I am fearful of it when He acts as if He does not care for me. I flounder. Notice I say "acts" I always know He loves me, but I NEVER under underestimate His ability to follow through a punishment even if it hurts Him. For Him it tests His self control, His control as Master. When I have no collar on it portrays me as a "nothing", worthless, up for anyone's use I guess, when I have His collar I am loved and cherished and he would never allow harm to come to me.

I know He is trying to humble me, having me take my top off was a form of humiliation, taking my little hole (in the way He did it) was a form of humiliation, calling me names (although I love it, it does make me feel dirty, slutty, owned and very slave), watching while He makes me fuck myself, He is teaching and reminding me all over again, that He can do as He wishes with me and I must comply. I do not have the right to question Him at the moment, I have lost that privilege and even when I did have that privilege I abused it and now have to prove my worthiness again and He has to be stricter than normal to rectify my behaviour I guess.

I don't mean I had the privilege to question Him over everything, but He did allow me to voice my opinion, or question something I did not like, without pulling me up for it. Now I know better to question anything at the moment. I am walking a very thin tightrope and it makes me a little nervous. I know one tiny little falter either way and I am going to be one sorry slave.

Anyway I have rambled enough. He is right I am greedy, but its because I simply cannot get enough of Him and dream about the day when we can be together and that the really good times we do have together I just want more and more of and more of and more of and more of. I doubt I would ever reach a stage where I begged for no more. I don't think I would ever get tired of fucking or being fucked. I dont think He could ever make me say "Please NO more Master"!

Smiles

I Love you so much Master. Thank you for being you.

s